


A Tale of Two Idiots

by doctormccoy



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Commission fic, M/M, Mentions of Prostitution, Post-BOFA, Rimming, Rough Sex, Some minor fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-17
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-20 12:57:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/887537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctormccoy/pseuds/doctormccoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nori is Dwalin's One, but as an enforcer of the law Dwalin has no choice but to hunt the renowned thief down when he escapes from prison. In an attempt to give his longtime friend a chance at happiness, Thorin offers to wipe Nori's slate clean - if he joins on the mad quest to take back Erebor. Now that the Lonely Mountain has been reclaimed, what will Dwalin do with nothing standing between him and his One any longer?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tale of Two Idiots

**Author's Note:**

> Commission delivery for [bitsandbobsoffluffandstuff.](http://bitsandbobsoffluffandstuff.tumblr.com/)
> 
> A bit of pre-Erebor, a glossing over of the journey to Erebor from Nori's perspective, and then the good stuff after taking back Erebor. I didn't go into too much detail with the journey just because it's already been examined from every angle in 23894293 other fics, and the main purpose of it was to set up the story for later. Some of it is angsty, some is a bit cheesy, but here you have it.
> 
> This is a looot longer than I was anticipating.
> 
> As for the reason behind the title, I got nothing. They're both big dummy faces.

"Nori, it's over. Give it up and come quietly."

Mahal did Dwalin hate how his voice trembled ever so slightly when we spoke those words.

It was so faint that no one else heard it. Except for Nori, that is. Nori noticed everything. He always had.

The ginger dwarf turned to fix his cat like eyes on his lover, balanced precariously as he was on the cliff face with nowhere to go but to his death or to Dwalin and the guards standing behind him. 

He'd been sloppy in this last job and gotten caught. Too distracted with the disgustingly sappy thoughts of returning to Dwalin's bed at the end of it to notice the servant that had caught sight of him robbing the carts of the wealthy merchant that had come to Ered Luin selling his wares. It had been a mistake, seeking any sort of something with the Captain of Guard. 

Nori turned to look down at the rocks below. They were seeming mighty friendly about now. Better than having to see Dwalin's face when he realized just who, and what, Nori was. What Nori had done so his family could survive, before the wealthy sons of Fundin had waltzed into their lives. 

He could have stopped the thieving when Balin, the advisor to Prince Thorin, had walked into their home on Dori's arm and announced their betrothal. Dori would have been well looked after, and Ori wouldn't have ever wanted for a single thing the rest of his young life. It was all Nori had ever wanted for his brothers. But then Balin's younger brother Dwalin entered the room behind them, and everything Nori had ever known about anything tipped into oblivion. 

For both sons of Fundin to find their Ones within the same family was a virtually unheard of occurrence. 

All the properness and the quiet dignity of Dori's relationship to Balin was matched by the fierce intensity of Nori's with Dwalin, and the middle Ri brother thought that perhaps his days of thieving to feed and clothe his family were past. But he hadn't anticipated that Dwalin would become a weakness, especially not when the dwarf that had hired him to knock off his competition by stealing their wares threatened to have the Captain of the Guard "taken care of" if Nori did not see through his end of the deal. Apparently, that Nori had returned the money to him wasn't good enough, and while he knew Dwalin was more than capable of looking after himself even the mightiest warrior could be felled by a well placed arrow or knife.

It was supposed to be a simple enough job. Steal the merchant's wares, tumble them off some cliff so they'd be lost, return home to Dwalin before he was even missed. His One would be safe from any untimely assassination attempts, Dori's wedded bliss to Balin would remain unbesmirched and no one would be any the wiser.

And yet, staring at the sharp rocks at the bottom of the cliff, Nori couldn't help thinking that perhaps he'd gotten a little unpracticed in his retirement.

"Don't you even think it, lad. For Ori's sake, please just climb back up here and surrender," Dwalin's voice cut into Nori's thoughts, dragging a bitter laugh from the red haired dwarf.

"It's always ever been for Ori's sake, Dwalin."

But he does haul himself up towards the Guard's waiting hands, letting himself be pulled over the edge and immediately secured with his hands behind his back, the rope just a little too tight around his wrists to be comfortable. Nori allows Dwalin this, though. He knows the larger dwarf is raw with his betrayal. 

Yes, it'd always been for Ori, Nori thought as he's led back towards the looming mountain, eyes on the ground to avoid the stares of the dwarves they walked by. His little brother, the one gift their Mother had ever really given to him or Dori. She had been a street worker, selling her body to feed her sons after they lost everything to the dragon's wrath. Nori had still been a baby when they fled from Erebor, but Dori was in his forties at the time, and plenty old enough to remember the searing heat and the hunger that came in the days that followed. Their father had been killed by Smaug, and with him went his wages and so their mother had done the unthinkable so they could get by. 

Ori had been born of some nameless patron when Nori had been nearing his majority, already almost an adult in the eyes of their people, but they had loved him all the same. Then their mother had been taken by an illness, and they were left without even that meager income once more. Dori had done his best to get work in the forges, and Nori slaved away for pennies in the pitiful silver mines, but it wasn't enough, and Dori. Nori's beautiful older brother, with their Mother's coveted wavy silver hair always braided so intricately, started to talk seriously about taking up her line of work. After all, he was considered to be quite comely by their people, and could seek customers among the upper crust.

It'd been listening to Dori seriously consider letting himself be used in such a grotesque manner that drove Nori to steal. First it'd just been bread and cheese from the markets and lies to Dori about having discovered a fresh vein of silver and the extra income that came from that. But then, as he got better at thieving, and more reckless, it'd been bigger things. More valuable things. 

By the end of the first year, Nori had quit his job at the silver mines and taken on his first clients, dwarves and men who paid him well to steal from lovers and competitors and family and enemies. If Dori had ever suspected where his younger brother's income really came from, he never spoke of it aloud to anyone. 

The red haired dwarf finds himself shoved into a cell and locked in, staring quietly up at the hurt face of his One. But Nori felt no remorse, no guilt for the things he had done. Dwalin would never understand what it was like to live as they had lived, to get by on scraps and wallow in the gutters. To sit back and seriously consider whether you had any other options besides selling yourself on the street corners. And Nori had done that, too, when the pickings were slim in the winter. It turned out even the middle Ri brother, while lacking Dori's stout elegance and their mother's curves, could attract that sort of attention when the need called for it.

"So you're the one we've been trying to catch for years. Ered Luin's own Shadow Thief, who has never been caught or seen by those he steals from," Dwalin said quietly, and Nori couldn't help but actually sigh with relief. There it was. Everyone would know and the secret no longer belonged to just him, any longer.

"Someone had to feed my family before the rich sons of Fundin waltzed into our lives," he said coolly, watching the bigger dwarf flinch at his words. Good. It was better for Dwalin to hate him. It'd make the sting of his betrayal hurt less.

"There are other ways than thieving, Nori!" Dwalin spat through the bars, visibly itching to enter the cage and wring his neck. Nori didn't react, though, keeping his level gaze on the enraged dwarf.

"Like what, Dwalin? We were barely scraping by with my earnings from the mines and Dori's from the forge, and that was when our mother was alive and selling her body on the streets to wealthy nobles like you, who would send her home with bruises on her throat and a deadness in her eyes. Not everyone can be born into wealth and power like the sons of Fundin."

Nori's tone is neutral but he can see his words strike like physical blows on his former One and Dwalin's face starts to turn an unpleasant purple color.

"Then why keep stealing? Dori is living comfortably with Balin, Ori is well set up with an apprenticeship in their home, and you.. I thought _you_ were quite content to let my earnings cover everything until you found a line of work that suited you," he snapped, his knuckles blanched with how tight he was gripping the bars of Nori's cage.

And now Nori was faced with a choice. He could either tell Dwalin the truth and drag his One through the mud of his guilt, or he could lie and hope that one day Dwalin would find another who was more suitable to be his lover. Either way they would not get to share a bed or a home together ever again, so perhaps the kindest thing Nori could do in this moment would be to tell one last lie. The job had been done and the merchant's wares destroyed, so there was no fear that an assassin would go after Dwalin, anymore.

"Because I like it. It's fun to steal from you rich people. It got easier after the first hard winter, when there was nothing to be stolen except my innocence," Nori growled and when Dwalin recoiled in disgust he pushed his advantage, working quickly at the ropes around his wrists.

"That's right, Dwalin, I let them fuck me for money. Even the righteous Thorin Oakenshield came to me for my services once. He liked it when I spread my legs for him and begged him to do it rough."

It was a lie, of course. Thorin was much too proper and upstanding to seek the services of a prostitute, not to mention too busy trying to raise his orphaned nephews and run a Kingdom of refugees, but he was also Dwalin's closest friend, and the use of his name in this matter served to enrage the Guard beyond all reason.

He flung the door of Nori's cage open and advanced on him, but before he could even lay a finger on the ginger dwarf he was on the ground, face pressed into the dirt with Nori balanced like a cat between his shoulder blades. 

"There's still time to hush this up, Dwalin. To save the Fundinsons from the shame of having a thief in their family by marriage," Nori murmured, pressing the point of his blade into Dwalin's neck to make sure he was listening. And didn't it hurt that the Guard actually believed Nori capable of causing him harm, when he went still at the prick of the knife.

"Good. Now, I'm going to disappear. You can tell everyone that I was taken hostage by the thief or something, I hardly care. Whatever tale you have to spin so that Dori's marriage and Ori's apprenticeship are not impacted by my actions. If I come back, Dwalin, and they've been harmed in any way by this, then I'll kill you, and your brother. I'll kill Thorin if that's what it takes to get my message across. Dori and Ori are _not_ to suffer for my crimes."

A short nod from Dwalin makes some of the tension bleed out of Nori, and he sighs softly, fingers brushing over the mohawk adorning the crown of his One's head. It'd been receding as of late, smaller than it had been since the days of the battle for Moria. Soon the Guard would probably be bald on top. The stress of it all, Nori supposed.

"I did love you, you know. Do love you. You're my One and I hate that it had to come to this."

Nori had left his unconscious lover locked in the cage that night, escaping into the shadows and beginning a chase that would last for many years to come. Nori would enter a new city and leave within weeks as Dwalin's spies and subordinates chased his tail, going where reports of thefts spiked. He found good work in the cities of men, where greedy souls grubbed for him to steal from family and friends, always coveting the wealth of others for themselves. 

He figured his luck would run out some day, but it still came as a surprise when his capture came not at the hands of Dwalin's men, but at the command of Thorin Oakenshield himself. The Prince truly had gone and become a King in the years Nori had been away, his blue eyes glinting like steel as they swept over Nori, who was rather effectively subdued by the chains wrapped around him. 

"So, you're the one I supposedly paid to fuck," Thorin had growled, as if remarking on the weather, and Nori had the decency to at least look a little embarrassed that Dwalin had confronted his friend on this little detail. 

"Ah, yes, well. Had to make him angry enough to open the cage, now, didn't I?" the thief replied with a shrug, earning a smile from Thorin that had way too many teeth to be comforting. 

"Yes, I suppose you did."

He stalked in a circle around the red haired dwarf, staring at Nori as if he could see right into his soul and didn't like it. Nori, at least, had the presence of mind to be silent as Thorin examined him, squirming at the tightness of the chains around his arms. 

"You don't look like much despite your reputation," Thorin decided finally, earning a contemptuous look from Nori.

"And you don't look like an ugly pissant that does his friend's dirty work, but here we are," he snapped, further annoyed by the fact Thorin just smirked and settled back in his chair once more, hands neatly folded on his lap.

"I have a proposition for you Nori, son of Vori," Thorin said smoothly, and that certainly got the red haired thief's attention. The virtuous Thorin Oakenshield wanted to make a deal with his most notorious criminal? 

Seeing the look of confusion on Nori's face, Thorin pressed forward, seemingly unconcerned to be alone in the room with the dwarf that had bested his Guard and evaded capture for years, now.

"You see, I'm going on a journey and it would be extremely helpful to have someone with your... skills as part of my company. If I am successful your record will be cleared, you'll be given a share of the profits, and you'll be free to go back to doing whatever it is backstabbing thieves like to do in their free time."

Nori stared stupidly at the dwarf King for a long moment, the wheels almost audibly turning in his head as he processed this piece of information. No more running? No more hiding from people who meant to see him hung?

"You're going to take back Erebor, aren't you?" he asked quietly as everything clicked into place. Nori's skills involved getting in and out of places without being seen or heard and Thorin had always talked about his desire to claim the mountain once more.

"Smaug has not been seen for many years, now. It is possible that the mountain now lay unguarded. The time has come to reclaim our home and our heritage," Thorin hummed and Nori had to fight the urge to wipe the smug look off his face.

"You mean your gold," he hissed, watching as the black haired dwarf shrugged in acceptance of this.

"And our gold. Gandalf insists he has found me a burglar, already, among the soft folk of the Shire, but, I'd rather hedge my bets on a dwarf with a reputation of getting things people want than some grocer of a halfling."

Nori grit his teeth and opened his mouth to refuse this fool's errand, only to stop and really think about what was on the table here. Worst case scenario, they all got themselves killed. But at this point he was already living like a dead man, and when you considered that the best case scenario was they actually succeeded and Nori walked away from this a free, and wealthy, dwarf. Plus there was the minor detail that he doubted Thorin would just let him go even if he did refuse.

"I guess that there isn't much of a choice, then," he said finally, sounding as tired as he felt in that moment, "I'll go on this mad quest with you."

Thorin grinned in triumph and stood, clapping his hands together like some great thing had been accomplished. He removed the locks from Nori's restraints and undid the complicated chains before fixing a hard stare on the dwarf.

"The deal only stands if I survive this journey, son of Vori. And you may tell no one about it. You'll depart for the Shire with the rest of the company in a week's time, where we will collect the wizard and his pet halfling before we turn eastward."

Nori groaned inwardly as he rubbed his sore wrists, fixing a withering look on the Durin. Not only was he to figure out how to break into Erebor, but he also had to try and keep a dwarf with a messiah complex from getting himself killed while trying not to die himself. This was going to be a nightmare.

"Oh and one more thing," Thorin added, as if Nori weren't already wanting to leap from the window.

"Dwalin will be joining me on this quest. As will Balin and your brothers. Should be quite the adventure, don't you think?"

If looks could kill, Nori would have been executed for regicide that afternoon. 

Lucky for Thorin, though, he lived to see another day, and Nori was left to see Dwalin again for the first time in many long years at the home of the hobbit named Bilbo Baggins. The impatience of the Fundinsons meant he was at least spared from their attentions on the travel there, though Ori had broken down in tears at the sight of him. He had, after all, spent the last few years convinced that Nori was the hostage of some evil thief. Dori only grappled him into a tight hug, but the middle Ri brother had a feeling that the elder dwarf knew about the truth behind the situation. Dwalin would have told Balin, after all, about Nori's treachery, and Balin was incapable of hiding secrets from Dori for very long.

Nori had been prepared for the range of reactions he could expect from Dwalin, from rage to sorrow to the desire to be with Nori again. What he was not prepared for was the utter indifference he was faced with, or the blank, uncaring looks Dwalin gave him when their eyes met. It hurt more than he would admit to Ori, who was confused by Dwalin's apparently lack of excitement to see his One alive and unharmed, or to Dori, who only seemed disappointed in them both. 

But he wasn't here to make nice with his former lover, Nori resolved. He was here to clear his name and make sure Thorin Oakenshield didn't get himself killed with his stupidity. He probably had to protect Fili and Kili, as well, since he didn't expect the King to be too amenable if his beloved nephews died on this quest, despite the fact he'd been the one to foolishly allow them along in the first place. 

And so began the trials of Nori of the Brothers Ri. Made ever harder by the Durin way of running head first into danger without so much as pausing to think about the potential consequences. Whether it was almost getting roasted alive because of those ridiculous Princelings and Gandalf's "burglar" or being chased by orcs across the plains outside Rivendell, Nori struggled with the basic task of keeping the three of them alive while also looking after his brothers. He was a skilled fighter, of course, but he was better at attacking from behind and in the shadows, when he had the advantage. Open battle wasn't exactly his preference. It offered too many opportunities for things to go wrong. Too many chances for Ori to be taken from him, or Dori, or even Dwalin. Being apart from the Guard had done little to stem Nori's affections for him. He was his One, after all, and they were fated by the Gods to be connected to each other. He could tell Dwalin was struggling to deny their bond, as well, more so with each passing day, and the way he was just as vigilant about keeping Ori safe from harm as Nori was didn't help the ache he felt for the other dwarf. His fear that he would lose of them before they reached their goal grew with each passing night, making it harder and harder to sleep.

But Nori didn't know what true fear was until he watched his brothers and his One clinging to the leg of a stone giant as it swung past them, the air taken from his lungs at the sight of them. And Dwalin, blessed Dwalin, clutching at the rock with one hand and holding fast to Ori with the other to keep him from falling in the chaos, only to be left helpless as they were hurled forward against the rock face.

Nori's only kept upright by Balin's grip on his shoulder, dragged forward on stumbling feet around the bend of the narrow stone path. Didn't Balin understand better than anyone that Nori could not possibly see crushed remains of the family he'd sacrificed everything for? But then Gloin is yelling back that they're alive, and it's like a jolt of lightening to the former thief, and when he finally makes his way to the rest of the group it's to the sight of Dwalin's back following Thorin into the caves. 

He supposed he should just be grateful that they all survived and no one was harmed beyond scrapes and bruises, but, it was hard to feel anything good when Dwalin seemed to care little about whether Nori had survived their encounter with the stone giants. When the floor fell out beneath them and they plummeted into the cold heart of the mountain, Nori hadn't slept a wink. And now they were to fight for their lives against a foe that outnumbered them hundreds to one. It was no surprise to Nori when they were captured. He felt only a numb sort of relief that the inevitable conclusion had finally come, staring up into the ugly twisted face of the goblin King. 

Nori's surprised, though, when Thorin steps forward to meet his fate at the threat to Ori, whom Nori has close to his side with Dori right behind him. He'd assumed that he'd let them die before surrendering even a smidgen of his pride, but it seemed that he didn't have their King all figured out like he thought. It had been one thing to drag Ori back from running out in front of the orcs, but another thing entirely for him to let himself be willingly insulted by the loathsome beast of a ruler to keep them from torturing Nori's brother.  
And so when the floggers fall on Thorin's back, Nori joins the fray to try and get to the fallen dwarf, snarling and grappling with the goblins that held them back. He wonders, still, if this was what it felt like to have faith in someone other than yourself and family.

Nori had lost his dignity, his way of life, and his love, but, there was one thing he could believe in and it was the figure of Thorin Oakenshield, standing tall ahead of him as they fought their way out of the mountain. 

He would revise this belief later when the fool of a Durin ran head first into a mismatched fight against Azog and almost got himself killed. Nori could never rely on a dwarf who was that cripplingly stupid. 

But it seemed not all was lost just yet, and Gandalf's eagle friends arrive in time to keep them from all dying horrible, fiery deaths, dropping them at the top of the rocky cliff to lick their wounds. The wizard's magic brought their idiot of a King back from the brink of death and whether it was the sheer heaviness of the moment or the raw delight at finally seeing Erebor on the horizon, Nori threw himself at Dwalin and kissed him with every inch of strength he had left in his body. 

At first he was expecting the Guard to simply toss him off the side of the rock without giving Nori so much as a last chance to grope that supple behind before he fell to his death. But Dwalin merely stares at him slack jawed, clearly unable to process what had just happened. Convinced that this was truly the end of everything between them, and burning with anger at himself that he let this happen in front of the entire company, Nori stalked ahead of them down the cliffside to find them a proper spot to rest before they followed Gandalf onward. 

Dwalin made no attempt to speak to Nori about what had transpired and Nori welcomed the silence. Now if only Dori and Ori would give him the same peace. Beorn makes for a lovely distraction, though, and by the time they end up in Thranduil's dungeons, Nori has all but forgotten the shameful moment of weakness.

Or at least, he would have if they hadn't locked him in with Dwalin bloody Fundinson. Dwalin seems to be on the same page as far as avoiding all contact or communication, though, and sits in the corner to stew in whatever thoughts are plaguing him. When Bilbo finally breaks them out they have not spoken a single word to each other. 

This would last until the battle was done and the quest finally, finally over. Bilbo had saved them from the madness of their King and the Defiler was dead, but the cost was almost too high to bear. Fili and Kili lay side by side with great furrows rent in their armor, their too young faces pale as elven healers desperately struggled to prevent them from bleeding out on the ground. Thorin lay wrapped like the dead in a swath of bandages and was on a strict order of bed rest until his wounds had healed. The company had survived the battle, though only barely, and Nori had to wonder if it was even worth it in the end.

"You should get that looked at."

The unfamiliar sound of Dwalin's gruff voice cut into Nori's musings, and the dwarf looked up from the deep gash in his arm. His red hair had fallen out of its familiar peaks to hang around his face like a filthy curtain with his unbraided beard, and his skin was almost stained black with the blood of the orcs he'd killed. 

"It is of little consequence right now. I'd rather the healers see to those on the brink of death first," he replied, looking back down at the nasty wound. He'd gotten it when he'd leaped into an orc that had aimed an arrow at Thorin's back. The arrow had fired wildly and sliced open Nori's arm, but, the King had been spared death in that moment.

Dwalin hummed and rolled his shoulders, fiddling with the axe still gripped between his fingers.

"The King wishes to speak with you. It seemed rather urgent."

Nori snorted at that and stood up, wincing at the creak of sore muscles and joints at each tiny movement. He'd be feeling this one for months, he was sure of it. 

"I bet he does."

He kept his eyes on the ground as he walked by Dwalin, refusing to so much as acknowledge the warrior's presence if he could avoid it. Dwalin, however, had different plans.

"Dori told me everything, Nori. About why you did the things you did, and why you stole," Dwalin rumbled, actually sounding contrite for once in his life. That brings Nori pause, and he turns to fix his stare on the son of Fundin, calculating.

"So when it comes from my brother it's more believable than when it comes from your One?" he said bitterly, shaking his head. Dwalin actually laughs at this and Nori fights the urge to bury his knife between his teeth.

"Well you did tell me you liked to steal because it's fun."

Nori blanches at this and scrunches his nose distastefully. He had said that, hadn't he?

"Yes, well. Had to make you open the cell somehow," he grumbled, staring off towards the encampment of dwarves once more, this time resolute that he was not going to stop no matter what Dwalin said.

"I like your hair this way. It always suited you better than that big style you wear it up in. Also made it easier for me to run my fingers through it while you slept. Made you purr like a cat, that did."

Damn the sons of Fundin.

Nori turned to give Dwalin a tongue lashing not to be forgotten when he's captured in the circle of his arms and lifted off the ground as if he weighed no more than a hobbit, finding himself face to face with his former lover.

"I missed you, Nori."

He's not quite sure how long they stood there in the midst of the battle wreckage, kissing as if their very lives depended on it. The only reason they even stopped was because Balin came looking for them after Thorin's summons went unanswered. 

The noise Nori makes when they're forced to part is rather undignified, but not as embarrassing as having to stand in front of their injured King with his mouth swollen and bruised from kisses with Dwalin looking equally disheveled behind him. 

Thorin only seems pleased, though, at this development, and folds his hands over his bandaged middle, blue gaze flitting between the pair of them.

"Nori, I hold your contract fulfilled. Your name will be cleared and your share of the gold given to you," he murmured, clearly amused at the way sudden understanding dawns on Dwalin's face. It seemed their King was more wily than anyone ever guessed.

"If you would be interested, a new position has opened up in my Kingdom," he adds suddenly, catching Nori's attention when the dwarf turns to leave. Nori is suspicious but waits to hear what he has to say, looking for any possible deceit.

"I'll need a spymaster. Someone who is good at.. getting in and out of places without being seen or heard. Who can look out for the wellbeing of my people against the actions of treasonous murderers and plotters. Can you think of anyone who might be good for the job?"

Nori feels the grin splitting his lips but he shrugs, hands in the air as if he had to consider this request.

"Oh, I'm sure I can find someone to fit the bill."

He'd left to give Thorin his rest and returned with Dwalin to his tent, where they set about performing a very vigorous and vocal act of forgiving one another. 

Things weren't instantly smoothed over between them, of course. The months since the reclaiming of Erebor and Thorin's coronation had been filled with plenty of angry fights, but it always ended with forgiveness in the end. Dori insisted that his heart couldn't handle the stress of being a spectator to their relationship and he got his own place with Balin, running a tea shop while the elder son of Fundin worked as Chief Advisor to the King. Ori had been appointed as personal scribe to the King and had the important task of writing down all of Thorin's dictated thoughts, laws, and ideas, and was to record what happened at ever council meeting. Every member of the Company found home and work in the mountain, and Bilbo finally got to return to the home he'd missed. 

Today was an important day, however, and even Nori had dressed up in his finest to see the coronation of their King. He'd waited until the next Durin's Day to see it done and the King's spymaster couldn't help but smile as Thorin, flanked on either side by his heirs, made his way to the throne where Balin stood, waiting with their crowns in hand. Fili would always walk with a limp and Kili bore a jagged scar down his cheek and neck, but, both had recovered from the battle and wore smiles as wide across as the mountain itself. 

There would be no interruptions or surprises today. Nori had personally seen to that. With Erebor prospering and the claim to the throne firm with three heirs there was little rabble amongst the common folk, and overall he'd had a pretty ease job as Spymaster this first year. 

He's confused, though, along with everyone else but Thorin and Balin it seems, when Dwalin is called to stand before the newly crowned King, dressed in the rich blues and greens of the Guard. His confusion becomes alarm when his name is also called, staring warily up at the three dwarves as the people around Nori part to expose him to their scrutiny.

"Nori. I know I've been stupid, and said and done some stupid things, in our time together," Dwalin said quietly, and Nori couldn't help the bark of incredulous laughter at that, earning a ripple of amused chuckling from the audience. Dwalin dips his head in embarrassed acquiescence, grinning at him.

"Maybe a lot of stupid things. But if you'll give me the honor, and the opportunity, I'd like to make it all up to you by asking you to marry me."

The smirk is wiped off Nori's face at that and he gapes up at Dwalin, very resolutely avoiding any eye contact with either of his brothers, both of whom are making delighted sounds from behind him along with half the damn Kingdom. Dwarven weddings were always exciting, especially when they happened within the upper crust. It meant good food, good ale, and most of all, the wedding itself!

Nori stormed up to where Dwalin was standing beside his brother and the King, glowering in the face of his One, who was looking decidedly more nervous with each passing second.

"The fact you even.. That you _asked_. You cheeky little shit, I should box your ears!" Nori snapped, folding his arms over his chest. Dwalin swallowed thickly and cast a look to Balin, who shrugged as if to say "it's _your_ One", before turning his gaze back on Nori.

"So is that a yes, then?" he asked finally, startled when Nori started to laugh and leaps nimbly up to wrap his legs around Dwalin's waist, fingers buried in the Guard's thick beard.

"Of course it is, you big, stupid oaf."

They had been married in the months that had followed, Erebor's first wedding, and a sign of hope for the years to come. Nori had braided flowers into Dwalin's beard when the guard had passed out in his tankard, and every now and then he'd still catch the other members of the Guard singing the ode about Nori's ass that Dwalin had drunkenly performed. 

And that was the extremely long journey of how they ended up here, with Nori straddled across Dwalin's bare lap and the other dwarf's cock buried deep inside him for the third time that night, skin covered in bruises from mouths and fingers and drenched in sweat.

"Fuck, Nori. Three times and you still grip me like you're a damned virgin," Dwalin snarled against his ear, fingers fastened in the mess of Nori's hair as he flips them, shoving the red head face first into the pillows so he can fuck into him, bruising his hips with the force of their coupling. They both liked it rough so there was no point in pretending, though the first time that night had been a bit softer and slower than the usual. Nori had been gone to the Iron Hills for many months, now, to make sure there weren't any undesirables in the group of immigrants coming to Erebor, and while neither would admit it, they'd missed each other something fierce.

"I've had plenty of time to tighten back up again since I was last home," Nori laughed breathlessly, grabbing at the headboard for leverage so he could slam himself back into Dwalin's thrusts. His braids were undone and his hair was hopelessly lost, knotted from the way Dwalin kept touching and grabbing at it, but Nori liked the sharp burn of his scalp from the attentions, so he allowed it for now.

With a growl he twisted in the guard's grip enough to smash their mouths together, teeth clacking with the ferocity of the kiss as his cock slapped between his thighs. Making love with Dwalin was more like battle than anything else, but neither would rather it any other way. 

"Well except for those nights where I was bored and decided to play around with that toy you gave me," he added, shivering with delight at the beastly growl this drags from Dwalin's throat. He finds himself tossed onto the floor with little ceremony and laughs as Dwalin falls upon him, thrusting hard back inside Nori's body and fucking him hard and fast.

"You cock starved little slut, I ought to make you wear that toy all the fucking time," Dwalin hissed, shoving Nori's face into warg skin as he pounded into him, swallowing every last moan and gasp of pleasure his husband makes when he sinks his teeth into his shoulder, leaving a dark bruise in his wake. "You're going to feel my cock in you for a fucking week when I'm through with you."

Nori groaned with delight at this and clenched deliciously around Dwalin's cock, peaking into a ragged scream at the rough way the guard pinched at his nipple, tugging at the loop of metal pierced through the flesh. He'd gotten them done as a surprise for their wedding night and Dwalin hadn't been able to leave off them since, not that Nori was complaining. 

"Fuck yes, Dwalin, _fuck_. Fuck me like the sweet little whore I am," he begged in a harsh whisper, reaching an arm behind him to fist in the remains of Dwalin's dark hair, holding on fast as his balls drew up with his need to come.

He howled with pleasure loud enough to wake the dead when his One gripped his cock and gave one smooth, sharp tug, and it's more than enough to send him catapulting over the edge, splattering his release across Dwalin's palm. His body slammed down around the cock inside him and the resulting rush of heat lets him know that Dwalin's come as well, making an even bigger mess of him than he was already. After three bouts of sex, though, Nori can't take anymore and he collapses flat on the rug, shivering as he comes down from his high. 

Only to groan when Dwalin's cock withdraws and is replaced by the dwarf's tongue, lapping and suckling eagerly at Nori's hole like the taste of his own release was better than wine. 

"I don't have another go in me for a while, big guy," he snorted, relaxing into the soft rug as Dwalin cleans him up, rumbling pleasantly against Nori's skin. When he's satisfied that he's licked away every last remnant of himself from his One, Dwalin collapses against his side and curls around him, nuzzling against his bruised throat with a soft noise of contentedness.

"Neither do I. So let's just lay here for a while until we find it in ourselves to either get back into bed or fuck once more on the rug," Dwalin chuckled, earning a lazy grin from Nori, who's already half asleep with how soft the warg skin is compared to the hard earth he's slept on for months, now. 

"Mm, well, you hedge your bets and we'll see what happens," he murmured, relaxing into Dwalin's touch when the dwarf began to stroke his fingers through Nori's ginger hair. 

It seemed like it'd been a lifetime since the day Dwalin had stared him down while he clung to the side of a cliff. But then the best things took a while to find, and they had far more time together than Nori had ever dared to hope. Now it was up to them to make the best of the time they had been given.

And so Nori slept soundly, knowing that when he woke it would be to the sight of his One resting easy beside him.

Or to the sight of Dwalin wanting to fuck one more time before training. But Nori was a live in the moment type of dwarf, so, he supposed he'd just have to wait and see. And wasn't that just exciting?

**Author's Note:**

> I watched the Stone Giant scene like twelve times and still couldn't clearly identify where Dori or Nori are in the scheme of things, so for the sake of the fic I assumed Dori was with Bilbo's group and Nori was closer to the front with Thorin's.


End file.
